Domino's Pizza is the ILLest

How to lose your job during a depression (we were in a recession a long time ago) in 3 easy steps (now with more live cultures!):

1. Stick cheese in nose.
2. Fart on salami.
3. Upload to Youtube.

So, the guy farts on the salami and sticks some cheese up his nose. ... I don't see what the big deal is.



I wasn't able to embed the bonus, DVD footage of our protagonist shoving peppers in his nose (in his defense, it was only one nostril), sticking his fingers (again, just one finger) in the "sneeze bread" or gently scrubbing his bare behind (multiple stokes, all UP in the crevice, inexcusable) with a sponge before doing the dishes, and for that I deeply apologize.

Jared from Subway would so not approve. Here's the girl's response to Vice President, Communications at Domino's, Tim McIntyre (via Consumerist).

"I am sorry about all of this! It was all a prank and me nor Michael expected to have this much attention from the videos that were uploaded! No food was ever sent out to any customer. We would never put something like that on you tube if it were real!! It was fake and I wish that everyone knew that!!!! Michael never would do that to any customer, EVER!! I AM SOO SORRY! You see all the time of the pranks that people upload and the pranks need to seem real in order to get a laugh out of people but this prank was very very immature and I am sorry for the embarrasment that I have caused your company!"

They got fired so quickly, the cheese on the sandwich hadn't even melted yet.

And another one. ...


If you don't know about TheOnion, then I'm not going to tell you.
Anybody want to go half on a pie? Better yet, we can save even more just buying a piece of the company.

What's that, Lassie; falling stock prices? That'd be keen.

So, what's for lunch? ... You're fasting? What do you mean?