. ... But wait there's more!
The following is an excerpt of some literature that was probably written by an intern at Hasbro. You can read it here.
"Monopoly: Revolution Edition" is slick and round instead of dull and square, with debit cards and an ATM instead of paper money and a banker, clear plastic representations of the classic tokens (bye-bye, little boot!), and clips of popular songs (like Rihanna’s "Umbrella," Daniel Powter’s "Bad Day," and Beyonce's "Crazy in Love") that play after certain actions. ... Players can collect $2 million dollars for passing “Go” instead of a mere $200 — practically what the average kid gets for losing a tooth these days.
Comedy.
I can't. I. ... I. I. ... No. It has invisible money, absence of the banker and inflation. It disturbs me how real that is. Check the video below for more. There's a delay in it toward the end, but that's what happens when Monopoly goes digital. And, on what planet does the average kid get $200 per tooth?
"These days." I want to go to this planet.
Why yes, that is Rihanna playing through the Monopoly board speaker. It means you're going to jail. ... Why is Monopoly playing music, you ask? Because the music industry is desperate. I mean dying, for most people. I'm sorry; what I meant to say was that, that's where the industry is headed. Why yes, I do understand that, 'That's where the industry is headed,' is a vague, blanket statement. Yes, marketing did tell me to say that. Please, slide your card. No, there is no banker. Why not? Well, because that's one more person that would have to get paid, more money to print. We all know that making money costs money. That's why you'll never see it again like the $200 tooth fairy.
Circle gets the square. Anyway, rent is due, and incisors are overrated.
Posts
