I remember walking and riding my bike here as a kid.
Showing posts with label news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label news. Show all posts
8/1/09
RIP Baatin of Slum Village
I was just looking at an article yesterday about how Slum Village was getting back together. I don't have any details about what happened yet. I think SV is one of the best to ever do it (with or without Dilla). We lost a good one. Rest in Peace and power, sir.
Baatin is probably on his way to Dilla's villa in Heaven with a DJ bag full of vynil for Dilla to sample. You know what love is.
Thought you knew Baatin was polygamous.
6/26/09
Michael Jackson's 911 Call
If you think you might be offended by this, just hit the back button. Thank you.
6/25/09
RIP MJ - Images From UCLA Medical
I decided to stop by UCLA Medical, where Michael Jackson felt his last breath (or was rushed to after it). Here are some images. I have a lot more, but here are some to give you an idea of what was going on. Rest in peace, sir.
4/14/09
Domino's Pizza is the ILLest
How to lose your job during a depression (we were in a recession a long time ago) in 3 easy steps (now with more live cultures!):
1. Stick cheese in nose.
2. Fart on salami.
3. Upload to Youtube.
So, the guy farts on the salami and sticks some cheese up his nose. ... I don't see what the big deal is.
I wasn't able to embed the bonus, DVD footage of our protagonist shoving peppers in his nose (in his defense, it was only one nostril), sticking his fingers (again, just one finger) in the "sneeze bread" or gently scrubbing his bare behind (multiple stokes, all UP in the crevice, inexcusable) with a sponge before doing the dishes, and for that I deeply apologize.
Jared from Subway would so not approve. Here's the girl's response to Vice President, Communications at Domino's, Tim McIntyre (via Consumerist).
"I am sorry about all of this! It was all a prank and me nor Michael expected to have this much attention from the videos that were uploaded! No food was ever sent out to any customer. We would never put something like that on you tube if it were real!! It was fake and I wish that everyone knew that!!!! Michael never would do that to any customer, EVER!! I AM SOO SORRY! You see all the time of the pranks that people upload and the pranks need to seem real in order to get a laugh out of people but this prank was very very immature and I am sorry for the embarrasment that I have caused your company!"
They got fired so quickly, the cheese on the sandwich hadn't even melted yet.
And another one. ...
If you don't know about TheOnion, then I'm not going to tell you.
Anybody want to go half on a pie? Better yet, we can save even more just buying a piece of the company.
What's that, Lassie; falling stock prices? That'd be keen.
So, what's for lunch? ... You're fasting? What do you mean?
1. Stick cheese in nose.
2. Fart on salami.
3. Upload to Youtube.
So, the guy farts on the salami and sticks some cheese up his nose. ... I don't see what the big deal is.
I wasn't able to embed the bonus, DVD footage of our protagonist shoving peppers in his nose (in his defense, it was only one nostril), sticking his fingers (again, just one finger) in the "sneeze bread" or gently scrubbing his bare behind (multiple stokes, all UP in the crevice, inexcusable) with a sponge before doing the dishes, and for that I deeply apologize.
Jared from Subway would so not approve. Here's the girl's response to Vice President, Communications at Domino's, Tim McIntyre (via Consumerist).
"I am sorry about all of this! It was all a prank and me nor Michael expected to have this much attention from the videos that were uploaded! No food was ever sent out to any customer. We would never put something like that on you tube if it were real!! It was fake and I wish that everyone knew that!!!! Michael never would do that to any customer, EVER!! I AM SOO SORRY! You see all the time of the pranks that people upload and the pranks need to seem real in order to get a laugh out of people but this prank was very very immature and I am sorry for the embarrasment that I have caused your company!"
They got fired so quickly, the cheese on the sandwich hadn't even melted yet.
And another one. ...
If you don't know about TheOnion, then I'm not going to tell you.
Anybody want to go half on a pie? Better yet, we can save even more just buying a piece of the company.
What's that, Lassie; falling stock prices? That'd be keen.
So, what's for lunch? ... You're fasting? What do you mean?
12/14/08
This is How You Get Got
For the record, before I begin, I was never a huge fan of the Ferrari F430. Not that I don’t think it’s pleasing to the eye or that its performance isn’t up to par (V8, 480+ hp, 0-60 in 4.0 seconds, top speed 190+ mph). It’s a beast. It’s just not my style. I see myself as more of 612 Scaglietti kind of guy or the California if I were going to stick with 8 cylinders, not that I wouldn’t trade my car for one in a heartbeat, even if it does get three times the mpg.
But this isn’t about me. I just tend to make it that way.
Former NFL-er, Corey Dillon, is (possibly was, now) a fan of the 430, so he bought one and wanted to do some work on it and add some upgrades to it to make it faster, a twin-turbo system according to stories I’ve read. FYI, it costs over $1000 to change the oil in one of those Italian stallions from a certified spot, and we aint talkin’ Jiffy Lube. I don’t know if there was necessary work that needed to be done to the car outside of performance enhancements. So, he drops around $55,000 to make it happen.
That was Mr. Dillon’s first mistake.
I repeat, “480+ hp, 0-60 in 4.0 sec., 190+ mph.” A Ferrari needs an upgrade like Halle Berry needs plastic surgery.
That means it doesn’t, and she doesn’t. Try to keep up with me, kiddies. I know most of you don’t understand Italian or &91!$# for that matter.
This excerpt below is the from Ferrari’s American site.
The only company in the world to consistently apply Formula 1 technology to its production cars, Ferrari prides itself on building some of the finest high-performance road cars available today.
This is Ferrari’s way of telling anyone generous enough to part with over $200,000:
*cues George Lopez accent*
*pounds on chest several times*
I got this!
Now I like to have nice things just like you
But I’m from Brooklyn certain s--- you just don’t do. -Mos Def, "Got"
You don’t put barbeque sauce on fillet mignon. You don’t give GW a second term (Thanks for that, no seriously). You don’t make suggestions on how you would improve the Mona Lisa. You don’t believe 100 percent of what any rapper says in his/her music. You don’t eat anything with beans on a first date. You don’t say, “Yes,” to the, “Does this make me look fat,” question. You don’t go to a University of Michigan football game wearing an Ohio State Jersey (okay, maybe this year), and you don’t do anything to a Ferrari. Is it possible? Of course. Is it a good idea, probably not. If you are going to do some aftermarket work on a Ferrari, get it done by some read-deal folks (like Hamman). Chances are, the best aftermarket spots for Ferraris (Although I'm sure there are some decent spots stateside) are outside the U.S. After all, they built the car, but I'm no expert.
Anyway, back to the story. So many, many moons go by—about 14 months’ worth—, and Corey’s super-fast car is yet to be made super-fasterer. In the midst of all this, the people who were supposed to make the upgrade to the car somehow convince Corey to invest $470,000 in the actual shop that was supposed to do the work. Now Corey’s out over a half mil, and his Ferrari F430 still only does a measly 190 mph. He eventually takes the car to another shop, drops another 34K to make it, “driveable.”
*bangs head on desk, takes bathroom break, refreshes cup of tea*
Now Corey’s pissed and wants his money back, understandable. He claims the Ferrari fixers spent the money on “fast food, perfume, liquor, groceries and gasoline.”
My math might be off, but let me see. $550,000 (I’ll round it down, because it already hurts too much) could get:
196,428 Animal Style Double Doubles from Inn & Out Burger
Or
1 Meeellion White Castles
Or
114,087 Gut(thrie’s) boxes, one with extra toast, no slaw, extra sauce (FAMU, anyone?)
Or
2 kidney-shaped swimming pools filled with High Karate
Or
66,344 5 fl. Oz. bottles of Brut cologne
Or
550,000 mini bottles of alcohol found on liquor store counters nationwide
Or
3 entire shopping carts (filled to the brim) at Whole Foods
Or
1 month’s worth of premium gasoline (Mid 2008 price, Pre-Obama era. … Coincidence?)
Or
3 Ferrari F430's
Or
550 hours with Ashley Dupre
Damnit! I forgot to include lawyer fees! Disregard the above calculations.
This is why you have financial advisers. This is why you save your money, children.
Guy with a lot of money: Hey, I’m thinking of opening a couple of Porkchop-on-a-Stick franchises, but I’m not sure where.
Financial adviser: Why?
Guy with a lot of money: Well, I like pork chops on sticks.
Financial adviser: Fair enough. Where were you thinking of opening them? Have you scouted locations?
Guy with a lot of money: I’ve narrowed it down to two locations. The first one is on Rader St., right around the corner from the PETA office. You can see the bay from there. It's a beautiful view.
Financial adviser: . …
Guy with a lot of money: The second is next to the Boulevard Veterinary Hospital for Integrative Healing. I already put a down payment on both of them. I was thinking of even going as far as Nebraska and Wisconsin, but all they eat is corn and cheese over there.
Financial adviser: What!? Why didn’t you. …
*Financial adviser bangs head on desk, takes bathroom break, refreshes cup of tea*
Guy with a lot of money: Where you going? We’re also gonna have smoked turkey legs. … You know. … For vegetarians.
*financial adviser returns, googles "Japanese ritual suicide"*
I don’t know Corey Dillon, never followed his career, didn’t even know he was retired. I am not losing sleep over this, and I have absolutely no problem with this man. I’m sure he’s a nice guy, and he has a right to spend his money how he wants to. Maybe he likes to race, and cars are his thing. Normally I wouldn’t write about something like this, but judging how I wrote an entire song this morning in my head while still in bed at 7 a.m. it’s safe to say I’m in a writing mood. There I go, making it all about me again. Seriously, I really just want people to learn from the mistakes of others. Use (not spend) your money wisely. Many times when you see these people on TV flashing all this money--whether athlete or musician, other entertainer etc.--the people who can afford to pay them are often in some country like Sweden or France. The same goes for all that nice clothes and expensive alcohol. We gotta be fly, swagged out, trill, gangsta or whatever crap we're calling ourselves nowadays in order to make ourselves feel better about ourselves, and we have to let everyone know it at all times.
*Takes photo in bathroom mirror wearing ridiculous sunglasses, throws up imaginary gang sign, sets as default profile picture, caption reads, "supaswag - Kia ownzz only".*
After all, "Jockin' Rober Kuok, J-jockin' Robert Kuok," just doesn't have the same ring to it.
Corey Dillon could’ve just purchased the Ferrari Enzo (approx. $700,000-1M, v12, 660 hp, 0-62 mph in 3.6 sec., top speed 217 mph) and saved himself the headache or merely savored the supercar he already had and bathed in 55,000 1-dollar bills a-la Scrooge McDuck, unless 217 mph isn’t fast enough.
Regardless of what I say, Corey Dillon got, got, and I hope he can get at least some of his money back. I can't stand a crook. I remember when I was around 19 I got got for about $5,000 by some shady car people (Watch out for those car auctions.). I got most of it back, though, thanks to a blood-thirsty lawyer. ... Should've listened to my girl at the time when she said, "I'm going to the bathroom. Don't buy a car until I get back." I think she went #2, because I couldn't have possibly lost all that money while she pee pee.
*gags at thought of ex going #2, again for losing all that money while she pee pee.*
(note to self: stop making this about self)
And if anyone is interested, I have some land for sale that’s made out of sugar. It’s about 25 miles southwest of Houston.
But this isn’t about me. I just tend to make it that way.
Former NFL-er, Corey Dillon, is (possibly was, now) a fan of the 430, so he bought one and wanted to do some work on it and add some upgrades to it to make it faster, a twin-turbo system according to stories I’ve read. FYI, it costs over $1000 to change the oil in one of those Italian stallions from a certified spot, and we aint talkin’ Jiffy Lube. I don’t know if there was necessary work that needed to be done to the car outside of performance enhancements. So, he drops around $55,000 to make it happen.
That was Mr. Dillon’s first mistake.
I repeat, “480+ hp, 0-60 in 4.0 sec., 190+ mph.” A Ferrari needs an upgrade like Halle Berry needs plastic surgery.
That means it doesn’t, and she doesn’t. Try to keep up with me, kiddies. I know most of you don’t understand Italian or &91!$# for that matter.
This excerpt below is the from Ferrari’s American site.
The only company in the world to consistently apply Formula 1 technology to its production cars, Ferrari prides itself on building some of the finest high-performance road cars available today.
This is Ferrari’s way of telling anyone generous enough to part with over $200,000:
*cues George Lopez accent*
*pounds on chest several times*
I got this!
Now I like to have nice things just like you
But I’m from Brooklyn certain s--- you just don’t do. -Mos Def, "Got"
You don’t put barbeque sauce on fillet mignon. You don’t give GW a second term (Thanks for that, no seriously). You don’t make suggestions on how you would improve the Mona Lisa. You don’t believe 100 percent of what any rapper says in his/her music. You don’t eat anything with beans on a first date. You don’t say, “Yes,” to the, “Does this make me look fat,” question. You don’t go to a University of Michigan football game wearing an Ohio State Jersey (okay, maybe this year), and you don’t do anything to a Ferrari. Is it possible? Of course. Is it a good idea, probably not. If you are going to do some aftermarket work on a Ferrari, get it done by some read-deal folks (like Hamman). Chances are, the best aftermarket spots for Ferraris (Although I'm sure there are some decent spots stateside) are outside the U.S. After all, they built the car, but I'm no expert.
Anyway, back to the story. So many, many moons go by—about 14 months’ worth—, and Corey’s super-fast car is yet to be made super-fasterer. In the midst of all this, the people who were supposed to make the upgrade to the car somehow convince Corey to invest $470,000 in the actual shop that was supposed to do the work. Now Corey’s out over a half mil, and his Ferrari F430 still only does a measly 190 mph. He eventually takes the car to another shop, drops another 34K to make it, “driveable.”
*bangs head on desk, takes bathroom break, refreshes cup of tea*
Now Corey’s pissed and wants his money back, understandable. He claims the Ferrari fixers spent the money on “fast food, perfume, liquor, groceries and gasoline.”
My math might be off, but let me see. $550,000 (I’ll round it down, because it already hurts too much) could get:
196,428 Animal Style Double Doubles from Inn & Out Burger
Or
1 Meeellion White Castles
Or
114,087 Gut(thrie’s) boxes, one with extra toast, no slaw, extra sauce (FAMU, anyone?)
Or
2 kidney-shaped swimming pools filled with High Karate
Or
66,344 5 fl. Oz. bottles of Brut cologne
Or
550,000 mini bottles of alcohol found on liquor store counters nationwide
Or
3 entire shopping carts (filled to the brim) at Whole Foods
Or
1 month’s worth of premium gasoline (Mid 2008 price, Pre-Obama era. … Coincidence?)
Or
3 Ferrari F430's
Or
550 hours with Ashley Dupre
Damnit! I forgot to include lawyer fees! Disregard the above calculations.
This is why you have financial advisers. This is why you save your money, children.
Guy with a lot of money: Hey, I’m thinking of opening a couple of Porkchop-on-a-Stick franchises, but I’m not sure where.
Financial adviser: Why?
Guy with a lot of money: Well, I like pork chops on sticks.
Financial adviser: Fair enough. Where were you thinking of opening them? Have you scouted locations?
Guy with a lot of money: I’ve narrowed it down to two locations. The first one is on Rader St., right around the corner from the PETA office. You can see the bay from there. It's a beautiful view.
Financial adviser: . …
Guy with a lot of money: The second is next to the Boulevard Veterinary Hospital for Integrative Healing. I already put a down payment on both of them. I was thinking of even going as far as Nebraska and Wisconsin, but all they eat is corn and cheese over there.
Financial adviser: What!? Why didn’t you. …
*Financial adviser bangs head on desk, takes bathroom break, refreshes cup of tea*
Guy with a lot of money: Where you going? We’re also gonna have smoked turkey legs. … You know. … For vegetarians.
*financial adviser returns, googles "Japanese ritual suicide"*
I don’t know Corey Dillon, never followed his career, didn’t even know he was retired. I am not losing sleep over this, and I have absolutely no problem with this man. I’m sure he’s a nice guy, and he has a right to spend his money how he wants to. Maybe he likes to race, and cars are his thing. Normally I wouldn’t write about something like this, but judging how I wrote an entire song this morning in my head while still in bed at 7 a.m. it’s safe to say I’m in a writing mood. There I go, making it all about me again. Seriously, I really just want people to learn from the mistakes of others. Use (not spend) your money wisely. Many times when you see these people on TV flashing all this money--whether athlete or musician, other entertainer etc.--the people who can afford to pay them are often in some country like Sweden or France. The same goes for all that nice clothes and expensive alcohol. We gotta be fly, swagged out, trill, gangsta or whatever crap we're calling ourselves nowadays in order to make ourselves feel better about ourselves, and we have to let everyone know it at all times.
*Takes photo in bathroom mirror wearing ridiculous sunglasses, throws up imaginary gang sign, sets as default profile picture, caption reads, "supaswag - Kia ownzz only".*
After all, "Jockin' Rober Kuok, J-jockin' Robert Kuok," just doesn't have the same ring to it.
Corey Dillon could’ve just purchased the Ferrari Enzo (approx. $700,000-1M, v12, 660 hp, 0-62 mph in 3.6 sec., top speed 217 mph) and saved himself the headache or merely savored the supercar he already had and bathed in 55,000 1-dollar bills a-la Scrooge McDuck, unless 217 mph isn’t fast enough.
Regardless of what I say, Corey Dillon got, got, and I hope he can get at least some of his money back. I can't stand a crook. I remember when I was around 19 I got got for about $5,000 by some shady car people (Watch out for those car auctions.). I got most of it back, though, thanks to a blood-thirsty lawyer. ... Should've listened to my girl at the time when she said, "I'm going to the bathroom. Don't buy a car until I get back." I think she went #2, because I couldn't have possibly lost all that money while she pee pee.
*gags at thought of ex going #2, again for losing all that money while she pee pee.*
(note to self: stop making this about self)
And if anyone is interested, I have some land for sale that’s made out of sugar. It’s about 25 miles southwest of Houston.
10/9/08
John McCain: My Fellow Prisoners
A friend of mine sent this to me a little while ago.
The way the words, "Clarity," and "Candor," soon follow are priceless, not to mention the awkward silence afterward.
McCain Refuses to Shake Obama's Hand After Debate
Don't even get mad. Just keep it moving. If O does become the president, this is just one more thing he'll have to deal with. However, I think the number of political leaders worldwide who would stand in line to shake O's hand would balance things out.
(Sorry if the text looks a little, "off." Get mad at Blogger.)
10/5/08
Biden v. Palin
Politics doesn't normally excite me, but I was amped to see this debate. The Obama/McCain debate was ok, but maybe I didn't get too into it, because I was listening to it while stuck in traffic on I-10 after working about 14 hours on the set of a TV show, and it's not like we haven't been hearing these two speak for some time now. Maybe my interest had something to do with the fact that in her short time in the spotlight, Sarah Palin has been a talking disaster when it comes to interviews. I think the presidential election process is way too long and expensive anyway. I understand this is the world's toughest job interview and all, but. ...
However, Biden and Palin are new to us. I was dying to see this debate like. ... Gee golly gosh darnit, I don't know, like a pitbull that plays hockey with lipstick on.
I made some food. I had a bottle of wine ready.
Joe Biden ran back the opening kickoff. I think he just seemed in control from the start.
...The following are just random thoughts that popped into my head as the debate went on...
Obama voted against the against the bailout. Biden voted for it. Strategy? Smart. I guess. Well, people are allowed to disagree.
Did she just call him Senator "Obiden"?
Did she just say "nucular?" Really, four more years of that, but she says naivete correctly?
Ooooh, she said the "H" word (Holocaust).
Senator Biden. So, gay couples can do all that great stuff. ... But you don't support gay marriage?
Sitting down with our "enemies" makes me think of the heads of mafia families or drug lords sitting down together trying to figure how all can prosper. It's not great, but it's better than a free-for-all. It's a necessary evil.
Stop looking at your cue cards so much, both of you but especially you, Sarah.
Why is she blinking so much?
She made a good point about Biden changing his views on certain issues after becoming the VP candidate.
If she says, "Maverick," one more time. ...
------------------------------------------------------
(according to answers.com)
maverick (măv'ər-ĭk, măv'rĭk)n.
. An unbranded range animal, especially a calf that has become separated from its mother, traditionally considered the property of the first person who brands it.
. One that refuses to abide by the dictates of or resists adherence to a group; a dissenter.
adj.
Being independent in thought and action or exhibiting such independence: maverick politicians; a maverick decision.
------------------------------------------------------
I think voting for Mr. "Maverick," would be like voting for George Bush III. It would also guarantee Tina Fey a gig on Saturday night Live for the next four years.
I love Tina Fey.
If Palin says, "Gosh," "Golly," or "Darn," one more time. ...
Biden getting choked up when talking about being a single father. ... Nice.
John McCain knows how to win a war? Apparently someone doesn't know that the "P" in "POW" stands for, "Prisoner." Didn't we lose in Vietnam?
John McCain knows how to win a war? Does he know how to end one? Does he know how to avoid one?
I have to go now. I have to go teach Joe Biden how to say "Cha-rac-ter-ized."
Biden 1 - Palin 0
9/2/08
Hot Links
- Nine myths and mistakes in online music marketing - Elemental-Consulting
- White S. Africa man feeds black man to lions, gets parole - Bossip
- Humanity Lobotomy (future of the internet, video) - Sweeneykovar
- Seven-year-old girl uses Viagra to stay alive - Scotsman
- US Army to have laser guns by 2013 - Newscientist
8/29/08
Hot Links
For the record, before I begin (I'm trademarking that), Current TV is probably my favorite channel. I stop by their site from time to time, and find some interesting stuff on there. They get probably thousands of links to news and entertainment stories every day. So, I just gathered a few that I thought were interesting (disturbing and scary as well). Here are some links to some of the stories. I know some of the fonts below look a little bit off, but it's 5:48 a.m. (disregard the time below), and I don't want to talk about it. I'm going to sleep. Good morning.
(I see the fonts look OK now, 6:14 p.m.)
(I see the fonts look OK now, 6:14 p.m.)
- The first person to undergo plastic surgery - Telegraph
- Cuba rock band blasts Cuban government, charged with "social dangerousness" - Pornopararicardo (CNN Video)
- Girl set on fire for rejecting marriage proposal - Bild
- Double standard for threats on Presidential candidates - Firedoglake
- Black assault helicopters hover over Portland during Michelle Obama's DNC speech - Indymedia
- Slavery haunts America's plantation prisons - Truthout
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